Agust D is back at it again with music to make you think.

Let’s ignore the fact Yoongi lied to us about not releasing his highly anticipated mix-tape anytime soon.

But, let’s focus on the fact that on May 22nd (in Texas for me) that Yoongi undeniably blessed us with another portfolio of pure and honest art; something the world is lacking severely. Writing this post is hard. Very much because the topics he shared in this mix-tape were not easy to hear. I felt like crying with each song I heard, as the album kept progressing, because I didn’t fully grasp the truth in being young, having high expectations put on you by millions of people you don’t even know, and going to your bed at the end of the day lonely, depressed possibly overworked, and repeating the same feelings and schedules all again the next day.

There is a quote by Henri Matisse that says “Creativity takes courage.” I agree, because D-2 is jam-packed with discussion on topics such as struggling with fame and sudden popularity, losing friendships, dealing with intensely negative criticism and getting older, all wrapped in a highly creative masterpiece surrounded by good, calculated beats. I was uber hyped since the first teaser image was released; and I followed its reveal closely on Twitter. (I guessed correctly that it was Agust D’s mix-tape, by the way. Not flexing at all.)

I woke up unnaturally on the morning of May 22nd to find a notification from Weverse saying “Agust D ‘대취타’ MV” and I NEVER clicked on something so fast. I watched the whole thing at 5 am in the morning. This was the first time I woke up to watch a music video at such an ungodly hour. After watching, somehow wide awake, I dashed straight to Spotify and typed in “Agust D”. The mix-tape was there, and I immediately gasped like I had been holding the physical copy of the album in my hand myself! I clicked “Download” and went back to sleep. I was secured. I was good.

I have already introduced this very talented young man in a previous post about his first mix-tape. Let’s just get into discussing these songs.

We are blessed with 10 tracks. The first one, Moonlight, is an R&B styled rap about having the money, cars and clothes he always wanted but it not having an everlasting change on anything in his head. The title track, Daechwita, is a historically Korean-themed styled song sampling “Daechwita” by National Gugak Center in the beat of the song. However…the song sounded quite like bragging. I’m not sure why Yoongi finds comfort in writing songs about his “haters”, but hey, that’s what he thinks and that’s what he wants. But to me, I don’t find the purpose in continuing on and on about people who don’t mean you well. Wouldn’t it best to ignore them? I had this same problem with Tony Montana.

The music video is also unbelievably merely four minutes and twenty-nine seconds, giving you theatrical and cinematic themes. I felt like I was watching something at the movies. It was a grand experience, and I honestly watch it everyday since it came out. Plus, I love seeing Yoongi in traditional Korean clothing, and wielding a sword. (I also enjoyed the quick Jinkook appearance).

Ok. So. Let’s talk a little more about What do you think?. He touched on the subject of BTS’s military status (“we’ll go serve in the military when the time comes”) and not caring about the opinions of people who are watching them only to judge. In my opinion, this song gives a lot of insight into what BTS deal with on a daily basis. (I took the time to explore the subject of BTS’s enlistment status and found this article which, while the title is oddly misleading, gave a good explanation.) However, I find the song quite disturbing despite its high numbers with fans. Although the original, as of May 31st has been deleted, it contained two samples from speeches from mass-murderer and cult leader Jim Jones, responsible for 1978’s Jonestown massacre, which resulted in the deaths of more than 900 men, women and children, predominantly black. I am still utterly disgusted and disturbed by Yoongi’s choice of samples, and when I discovered who the voice belonged to, I grew angry. What the heck is this guy trying to communicate?

Big Hit released a statement a few days later. I was expecting something from Yoongi personally, like an explanation or some context. But we instead received something else, which was a switch of blame to other producers involved with the mix-tape, which I will not be discussing. But already, I did not like the song. It sounded like another Agust D or Tony Montana, full of bragging and flexing. (I think the bragging is what already turned me off to the song in the first place.) I know Agust D has made it his thing to brag…but I just don’t see the purpose. We know you’re rich. Ok? We get it. Despite the obvious distastefulness involved in the song’s sample choice, it’s still widely successful among ARMYs . So I guess it’s all good.

Strange (feat. RM), 28 (feat. NiiHWA) and Burn it (feat. MAX) are all to me, reflection songs on his growing up and maturing into adulthood, grasping onto a dream in a world where having dreams are seen as childish and useless, and letting go of past mistakes and guilt. People is an honest reflection on himself being in the public eye and also how different is life is to others. My favorite lines are “your being ordinary is rather my being special / your being special is rather my being ordinary”. This reminds me of snippets I saw from BTS’s newly released docuseries, Break the Silence, which was recorded during the Love Yourself tours from 2018 to 2019. In episode 5, Yoongi shared some thoughts he had that correlated with these lines:

“You lose as much as you gain. You gain as much as you lose. For me, I lost the ordinary. That’s the biggest change. What that means is — what’s ordinary to others is very special to me, whereas what’s special to others is very ordinary to me. Then, before you know it, your set of values changes, the values with which you see the worlds.”

Yoongi, Break the Silence

Honsool is about drinking alcohol alone and at the end of a day in an attempt to drown out the stresses that come with work and everyday life. This song hurt me the most, because while Yoongi talked about being by himself at the end of a hard work day, he is left without sleep and he drinks for comfort in a repeating cycle. I think this song hit me hard because I was forced to look at the reality of what being a celebrity looks like. As he shared in this song, “I thought I’d party everyday when I become a superstar / But the ideal is slapping the reality in the back of its head” , he shows us that the glamorous life we see with the clothes, cars, money, travelling and wealth are not as sparkly as they seem. I think the reality of his lyrics definitely mess with some already deep-seeded thoughts of mine, coming from someone who seems to envy celebrities for their glamorous lifestyles sometimes.

Interlude: Set me free seems to be about depression or a chronic happiness and deep sadness. I got this conclusion from the lyrics “one day, I crawl on the floor / on another day, I fly high in the sky”. I think this was another song that was hard to digest, because although BTS is experiencing so much success at the moment, I never assumed they would be experiencing extreme mental health issues because they always appear so happy and cheerful. I honestly thought their achievements and money would always secure them. I see how wrong I was and still am.

The last song, Dear my friend feat. JW of NELL, talks about a past friend who got addicted to drugs and “became a monster”. Yoongi expresses guilt for not stopping his friend back then, and wonders if times today with him would be different if he did. It’s a song full of resentment, regret and pain, mixed with love and sympathy.

This mix-tape, in my opinion, was more painful to get through than Agust D. While both were packed with songs that make you uncomfortable with and emotionally face the reality of stardom, becoming an adult, dealing with stress and being a human in general, my mind is more open to how I think and behave toward people with high public profiles. I think in this mix-tape, Yoongi challenges the stigma that there are two types of people: “celebrities” and “normal people”.

I am personally on a quest to find this answer. Although some celebrities do abuse their power and well do feed into the lie, where did this superiority complex begin? Why do we choose to uplift fellow humans to the responsibility of being gods? Why do we value fame and popularity so much, without knowing its full responsibility on the artist and the long-term consequences this could cause?

I wholeheartedly applaud Yoongi for his brutal honesty. I applaud any artist who has the courage to be honest about what their real lives are like, and don’t attempt to hide behind their money, cars, and men/women they can pull. The reality of this world is that it’s hard enough, and people are tired of the facade that we need to always be happy and always feeling good. We are becoming more vocal about mental illness, depression, autism awareness, and are dedicating our time to building communities around these areas to make people feel safe and welcome. The thing that honestly scares me, is that with the more success he reaches with his members as well as himself, is if mental self-care is at the top of his list. It is so easy to preach something to millions of people and not even bother to practice it.

I am still digesting this album as I type this post, as I think I will be for a while. This album was a very deep and raw experience, and was beautifully presented in only the way Agust D could. Katy Spinkel, in her book The Big Book of BTS: The Deluxe Unofficial Bangtan Book, describes Yoongi’s lyrics: “His transparency is something that has resonated deeply with fans, many of whom credit BTS with helping them through difficult times…Whatever the reason, he’s an integral member of the band, and who’s helped separate BTS from the pack of idol groups through his candid and fearless songwriting.” I’d have to agree, as there seems to be a community of transparency seen in ARMYs whether on the internet or meeting at a concert. And I think Yoongi has made it a personal goal of his to communicate messages of hope, realness, and intimacy; something his craft has always uniquely been able to execute.

However, though highly talented he is, the choice he chose to go, intentionally or unintentionally with having Jim Jones sampled in one of his tracks was not something that I have never overlooked. I read tweets after tweets and posts after posts of people justifying his use of it and claiming that Jim Jones was anti-South Korean, pro-North Korean, that Yoongi was criticizing Jones, that Yoongi was criticizing Westerners, etc., which all were shown to be false. (If you want to look for evidence of these statements, there is a plethora of tweets from Twitter and also on Reddit. Just type in “yoongi jim jones” or something like that.) According to the statement, Yoongi nor the producers involved knew who Jim Jones was and the sample was “selected considering the overall atmosphere.”

We will never really know the truth about Yoongi’s choice. But I hope in the future, I can catch him somewhere and invade his privacy and ask him. Just kidding. I’ll try to wait until he finishes his food, first.

Bottom line is that Yoongi is darn talented. And although he’s 27, I hope to expect more transparency from him in the future. But I’d like him to know, that an apology or some kind of explanation won’t hurt. As a fan, I enjoy his content and appreciate the vulnerability, and I hope he decides to continue this as he grows throughout his musical career.

All lyrics were translated to English from Korean by Doolset. I used their site to read the lyrics after hearing the songs and wanted more translations. Here is their Twitter if you’re interested!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.