I recently stated using Reddit. (Go ahead. Laugh at me for joining the party late.)
I really wanted to find a community I could fangirl and engage in well-meaning discussions about the Mortal Kombat franchise and characters with. Thanks to a week off from work in August, I picked up its predecessor, Mortal Kombat 11, and didn’t put it down until I bought its successor in September of this year. Now, my current obsession is Sub-Zero, Kuai Liang (why is he Scorpion now? Whatever…), Reptile, and how I’m going to gift myself Shang Tsung for Christmas this year. (I reeeeally like his game play.)
As I responded to someone’s well-written expression on why he thought the blind swordsman—Kenshi Takahashi’s— sword needed to be “nerfed” (don’t ask me what that means because that’s not my specialty to know), I was met with a correct (Sento definitely needs to be toned down a bit) but very disrespectful response, ending with “Did you eat lead paint as a kid m8?” Or something like that.
To be honest, this isn’t the worst thing someone has said to me on the internet. I am a baby. I do believe in respectfully speaking to people rather you agree with them or not. Despite whomever it was being totally right about not being able to dodge a sword with a lot of range, I found it interesting that this person found it totally ok and appropriate to insult me without even knowing me. It’s like pure emotion and rage took over, because he disagreed with my response.
They’re either a child or an immature adult, I thought in my head. In fact, I thought about this for several days. Weeks. This response actually hurt my feelings. My curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to do some research in two areas. One area was why being anonymous gave people such a boldness that could cause confidence or callousness to whomever they come across. And the second area was if Sento was really that strong. (More on this later.)
There is something I found called the online disinhibition effect. The online disinhibition effect, as described in a paper by John Suler, Ph.D in 2004, stated that it is “a phenomenon in which people of the cyberspace say things they wouldn’t ordinarily say and do in the face-to-face world. They loosen up, feel less restrained, and express themselves more openly.” Of course, this phenomenon can and has worked in two opposite directions, with my example being closer to the negative range. Suler writes, “This disinhibition can work in two seemingly opposing directions. Sometimes people share very personal things about themselves. They reveal secret emotions, fears, wishes. They show unusual acts of kindness and generosity, sometimes going out of their way to help others. We may call this benign disinhibition. However, the disinhibition is not always so salutary. We witness rude language, harsh criticisms, anger, hatred, even threats. Or people visit the dark underworld of the Internet—places of pornography, crime, and violence—territory they would never explore in the real world. We may call this toxic disinhibition.”
One thing to note is that all of these things that are expressed are already in the person’s personality. If an internet user is displaying aggressive behavior, it’s most likely this person is aggressive outside of the internet; either to others or to themselves. As Suler continues to share, “The self does not exist separate from the environment in which that self is expressed. If someone contains his aggression in face-to-face living, but expresses that aggression online, both behaviors reflect aspects of self: the self that acts non-aggressively under certain conditions, the self that acts aggressively under other conditions.” Who we are on the internet is truly a reflection of who we are everywhere. So, remember, who you are on and off the internet matters greatly. As someone shared with me before, your social media is an extension of you.
I wanted to start challenging myself to act in character on any website I’m on, because everywhere I go I want to spread kindness, understanding and I want to add something to the conversation. Too much on the Internet do I find myself trying to have a snarky remark that gets a lot of likes at the expense of someone else. Too much on the Internet do we see someone made fun of because of something they did not know and instead of someone lending a hand, a meme is created or used to exploit their ignorance.
I think the Internet is a reflection of the environment in reality, and there is always more compassion and understanding needed there. So based on my research, I decided to reach out to the person who sent me that awful message and apologize. Not just because he was right, but because my suggestion was not correct—there is no way you are blocking Sento. (I got my butt handed to me multiple times playing with multiple formidable fighters too!) Instead of being prideful, I decided to admit my ignorance and my miseducated suggestion and to my surprise, the person responded and apologized. This had to be at least a few weeks ago. I hope they are feeling better, because I sure am!
Further information for the research nerds like me:
this Reddit search on why people are so mean online
The online disinhibition effect by John Suler Ph.D
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
Shanedra Writes Too Much 